Awakening

My spiritual awakening has happened over many years.  I have had different shifts of awareness take place based on my experiences.  Death and relationships have been my main learning of facing darkness and finding my light.  I look back now and realize how every single experience has served a purpose.  I call it the journey back to self/god.  I had different things unfold, in 2005 my grandfather passed of a heart attack.  I remember it plummeted me into a state of shock that I had never experienced before.  For months after I struggled to keep a job, I struggled in relationships and I felt depression on a level of sometimes not being able to get out of bed in the morning.  In 2012 my Uncle died from esophageal cancer.  Through his journey with illness I had many unexplainable experiences.  I felt connected to him on a soul level and it was very hard for me to come to peace with his transformation.  I knew though that through his experience he was giving me a gift of knowingness.  I started to feel presence of spirit in the room with him. I started to feel the words he was saying were not his but that someone was speaking through him.  I was able to see a bigger picture of this experience even through the pain of losing him.  In 2015 I had an energetic awakening and that was the point in which I had to reach out for help to understand what was happening to my life.  I couldn't deny any longer that things were just coincidence.  So it was like all of the prior events had prepared me for the blindfold to come completely off.  I realize now that I was being guided to remembering who I was, spiritually.  I also realized that I had been on this journey long before I was consciously aware.  Through the years I had been a caretaker, a caregiver to children including my own.  I had often wondered why I was the person people were drawn to for support during hard times.  Once I gained support and clarity into what was happening I went through many stages of acceptance, I questioned why me? If I had been given this gift of insight and awareness and healing capabilities, was I able to carry that responsibility? This journey has been no walk in the park , but it has blessed my life beyond measure.  Today I stand in full acceptance of my purpose, who I am in the physical world and who I am in spirit.  I understand divine love and the truth of oneness.  I reside in the spectrum of faith and trust in spirit as they provide all that is needed at the time it is needed.  For all of you who have had the blessing to see spirit at work, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  And obviously this is a short partial story of my awakening but I felt to share some significant parts of my story.  I will tell you the biggest blessing is going from fearing death to truth of transformation into spirit body, not based in what someone tells you, but on your own experience.